description

You can describe feelings in various ways. How feelings make you feel, how your body, heart, mind, etc. reacts to a certain situation or sensation. But how powerful would it be, yet, to describe feeling, not by words, but by action? I know writing is about words, but as we've learned, it's best to show, not tell. People can only relate so far to how someone feels by means of describing other related feelings or reactions. Action speaks for itself, though. Or so people say. And normally, those people are right.

I know this is no new concept, but it's still powerful, nonetheless. "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or morepressing claim." This is a great action of something, a definition I received from dictionary.com. The word being defined is "sacrifice". But couldn't it also be used as "love"? What if the "feeling" of love (which is much more a choice than anything else) was described, not as love, but as an all out representation via sacrifice? The meaning and power behind the concept now has become much more clear and can reach the hearts of many more than just those who are "in love" or can relate to the warm fuzzy feeling of "love" (infatuation). The truer sense is given, and even those who are hurt can receive hope and enjoyment from it.

To think that I would be sacrificed for. That someone would consider my life to be of more worth than their own. My happiness over their safety. It becomes more real when given in an action and demonstration. The words give more understanding and meaning, but without the action taking place or being shown, the meaning is worthless. Still, it makes more sense and has touched me in a way I never even grasped before, all because of how something was worded, and how something was described through action and demonstration rather than just a description. It becomes more than wishful thinking or hopeful foolishness. If not to anyone else, than to myself.

I got this all from a book. A book I've read and skimmed over for years. A book I've become familiar with. A book I wish to relate my own style after because of it's amazing use of description through actions, continuity, and a story that continues well after the cover is closed. My Bible, as much as people scoff and think of it as ridiculous foolishness, has given me more powerful understanding and clarity of the word "love" (among others) through action than has any other novel, movie, or depiction possible. This hit me tonight and it wont soon die.

I want to bring understanding to people. Isn't that ever writer's goal? To be understood? Or at least hope that someone would understand? I want people, along with myself, to just get life and everything we go through. However that may be. It doesn't matter if it's with each other, against the world, or against ourselves. That only goes so far with fiction, but now at least I have a more powerful tool and method to get the message out and have some meaning behind it. I'm losing my words now, since it's late, and I'm not as coherent as I was when I began. Hopefully I can master this skill soon, since I'm sure this blog entry has gotten jumbled by now. Still, the message now should remain understandable, and my goal has been clearly stated.

Opening lines

The beginning sentences are supposed to draw readers in. I've always wanted to captivate my audience from the get-go, but really never put much thought into the process until now. Keep them guessing before they even turn the page. Spark interest in the first few words that will ignite a flame of curiosity and desire for conclusion through the rest of the story. A few words to burn through the rest of the pages. A few words to burn into the minds and hearts of those who even so much as glance over them. The follow-through is what makes the story, but those opening lines are what give them their chance. It's really cool to think about. And so, the act of writing becomes more of a refined art, though still as boundless and unpredictable as the emotions and thoughts it stems from.

Requirements of a Writer

Since when was the creative process and its patrons allowed to be dumbed down by generalizations and requirements? "If you're a real writer, you'll do this" "If you expect to be any good, you'll do that". Yea, because all writers that have made a difference in this world referred back to a certain other writing pioneer back when there was no one to refer back to, or made their mark in the world by writing this way, or that way, or reading this person's work. Of course not! There are tips that are helpful and methods that can bring out the best in your work, true, but it shouldn't be limited to that. I'm nowhere near the best at what I do, whether it be writing or anything else, but I got there because of my own experiences and methods, not following guidelines and specific rules and regulations. When that happens, our work loses its spark and value. Our passion becomes a textbook answer.

Who cares what people think? Who cares what one person dubs "good writing" or "correct methods"? No one should, and it's those who don't that make the real difference. I'd rather be called an idiot and end up like all the others who left their mark in the world by being called so than be praised as a genius in a classroom or by convention and replicate work that people have already ingested a million times or fail to cause people to think or understand because my style is outdated and overused, even though that's what I was taught.

I look forward to rejection letters. I'm excited for scoffs and ridicule. It's those responses I will save and keep next to the file cabinet of my acceptances and fan mail and later publish to show how cliche they all will become in the hindsight of history.

Too much rest

It doesn't seem to be existent at times, but there is such a thing as getting too much rest... becoming too comfortable in bed... especially before the week hits its end for me. I still hate waking up with a passion. Not that I don't enjoy being able to spend another day spending time with my friends and family, both at home and at church along with anywhere else we may go, it's just that it's a difficult task I never get tired of loathing. It's literally painful to try and force my body into cooperation in the mornings to kick off the covers and get ready for the day. It's mostly mental, though.

I remember a comedian, Mike Berbiglia I believe, who commented on a sleepy alter ego that had a gift for convincing arguments as why not to wake up. I'm beginning to come to terms with that same realization about myself, especially after this morning. Like I said before, if my mind has something more interesting to do, it's not too hard for it to convince my body to cooperate, and it just so happens that my dream needed to be finished, in my mind's opinion, and so I did before finally dragging myself out of my bed... literally!

Wiping my face off on my pillow and sheets as I slowly slid towards the edge of the bed and eventually getting up enough to see a blurred world through the slits of my eyelids who were still trying to decide whether or not to open or remain closed. I've gotten work done already, but it's not a pleasant ordeal to have to go through, especially when I finally wake up and remember everything I need to do in the day. "A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber." -Proverbs 6:10-11 and 24:32-34 (NLT) That verse kept echoing in my head this morning... talk about lighting a fire under your feet.

Distraction

It's apparent in this busy phase of my life that distraction is a very deadly thing. Even this post was delayed a good six hours due to distractions and my easily broken focus. It's the downfall of a creative mind. A new idea is constantly looked for and commonly found in the midst of a thought already in progress. If the new idea proves more interesting, which it does very often initially, then it takes over and several tasks are left either unfinished or not even started.

My mind is very good at deciding what it does and does not want to do, and have become skillful at convincing the rest of me that there are more entertaining things to be done than work, school, or even another recreational activity. Even now, Facebook is calling my name in the back of my head and my favorite hand held games cry out from neglect over the past two months.

I need to focus, but a lot of the time, even when I want to, I don't want to. I work best under pressure, though, and I've yielded nothing but good work from crunch time (mostly), so maybe that's just the way it'll be. I shouldn't say it's my best, but it definitely brings it out.

Busy

Sacrifices are necessary in life. Too much emphasis has been put on the "good life" or "bein on easy street". Nothing good seems to come just by gliding by, other than not having the burden of making a difference anywhere in this world. I've been finding myself with little to no free time, and the free time I have being used to further expand my abilities in computer animation or just some me and Jesus time. Even then it's only a half hour maybe twice a day. But from 8am-12am, it's consistent working. I've given up time with friends, opportunities of developing new friendships, but all to make something bigger than myself happen. I love the work I do, I get to work with people and develop there. If there wasn't any sacrifice, though, it wouldn't be work, and it wouldn't be growing me. It's frustrating and very tiresome at times, but I know it will pay off. I know where my values are, and I will never forsake my friends or family for the sake of plain progress. Not if it doesn't benefit anyone except myself, anyway.

I just got my hands on some 3d software and I'm really looking forward to expanding in that, and resources keep coming for me, and hopefully I can make something amazing happen for people with it eventually. I've seen what possible with it, and I wanna bring out the best in it!

That's just a glimpse of where I'm at now, and that's just plainly where I'm at. I'm learning to manage my time, lead teams, and grow in areas that I'd rather not do sometimes. It's all worth it, though, in the end. I have hope for the future and definitely no expectation of having work let up... maybe transfer somewhere else for the better, but not really go away. That's exciting, though. I have a future to look forward to. Not many people believe in that. But I know it. If only others did too.