Haiku Writing

So the method of writing a haiku was actually very interesting and a bit more difficult than I expected. The form, goal, and execution of such was very interesting, intricate, and it gave me more to apply to my other writing as far as the discipline goes.

It was all more or less what we learned in our class, but so refined and with a few extra goodies thrown in. I'm not sure I would spend the majority of my life trying to perfect and master the art, but it was fun and very interesting. The overall process was just refreshing and simplistic.

Haiku Talent

I observed something that made me laugh. The reason I find this particular happening funny is most likely just due to my lack of understanding of the whole process of writing a haiku, symbolism therein, etc.

Whenever you mention "moon", "tortoise", "spring/summer breeze", you're automatically seasoned. You have mastered the art of talking about common Japanese icons in that culture. In the very least, you've managed to squeeze it in there somehow.

Does it make sense? Not to me. It simply sounded ridiculous, and recalling the way it was read still makes me want to start laughing!

Brain mush

After a certain hour, it's nearly impossible even to keep up with great, flowing ideas. Why is it that such great inspiration always comes when it's the most difficult to articulate? Of course, there are instances where inspiration comes ideally in the middle of a writing session.

The difficulty lies in having other occupations; other things that take up our time and brain power. By the end of the day, sometimes it's just too difficult or too inconvenient to pick up the pen or open the text document. Even if you get that far, it's a matter of how long you can keep your eyes open and how much sense you can make out of your sleepy jibberish or even keep track of what's going down on the page. It's hard to progress if you can't understand your own writing! I say this from personal experience.

Special time must be made, and managing ourselves the best ways we know how will lead to a successful, disciplined lifestyle. Let the brainpower flow!

To love and lost...

We have several experiences in life dealing with love (some more than others). Some cases have serious commitment and attachment to them, with a willingness to sacrifice anything and everything. Other cases are simply blown up fantasies fueled by infatuation. Regardless, the "emotion of love" is largely used in the artistic realm. Music, writing, painting, etc. I suppose the only fear is this: will your art express the elation of love achieved or the absolute anguish of love lost?

I wonder how many people truly grasp what love really is. I wonder how different art and the world as a whole would be if they did.

Heartbreak is inevitable. How you deal with it is the key. Just as easily as people's writing is rejected, some people just aren't suited for certain others. That doesn't mean there should be a bitterness there, but rather encouragement that there's still someone that will fit, even better than before. I'm preachin' this just as much to myself as anyone else who cares to read it.

Complacency

I'm getting the urge more and more to move forward and get on with my life. In the process, though, I've realized that all that does is keep my future in the future and the present slipping beneath my feet. I want to write a great story, but unless I do something about it, it won't happen. I'm used to getting by, so that's just what I do.

I'm just gaining my passion back. Seeing my vision on paper and getting some sort of response out of people again from my writing... this is great! I have something to strive for now! I have something to fuel my creativity and drive me past my limitations.

I know this passion needs to be everywhere in my life, though. Everywhere I'm at now is something that needs to be overcome and dealt with before my future can come at me. The more passion I focus on the mundane, the quicker and more efficiently I reach my goal and fulfill my potential. I just need to wake up.

The Perfect Story

I'm not accomplished in writing... not yet. Saying that, I also recognize the fact that I don't know what it would be like finally getting a few books out there and then coming to a stop. I don't know if I would be satisfied, or be in anguish if I wasn't able to proceed. I heard one writer say that she was scared that she had peaked and would never be able to top her last work. I don't believe that is possible.

I have purpose in writing. I want to reach people. Even if some of my books are simply to entertain, if I entertain some people, then who cares if those books hit the best sellers list? It would nice, for sure! But as long as purpose is attached, I don't think you could ever stop topping yourself. Value is more than the sales number, and the amount of fan mail you receive.

Did you reach your goal? Did you make a difference somewhere? Is the world a somewhat better place than when you started? God has me here for a reason. If I can't answer those simple questions with a smile on my face at the end of my life, then I'll be afraid. But I know that's not an option and I know I'm not the kind of guy to give up, even when the mountains to climb get too high to see over, and visible from a mile away.

I guess the point is this: we're not perfect, so how could we possibly create something perfect? That being said, without perfection, there's still a higher standard; you can top imperfection. The fear is simply in whether or not you want to give up before you get the chance to best your "masterpiece".

Standards

I touched on this before, and I believe it is deserving of a bit more of a delving into. There are so many expectations and so called "requirements" to be a "real writer" is or should meet in order to be acknowledged as such. Dedication to writing every day for instance. Beneficial? Yes. Necessary? No. So many contradictory statements like this are made, not that those who speak them say otherwise as different times, per se, but that lifestyle eventually will, if it is any sort of balanced lifestyle at all.

There is a "one thing" in everyone's life that should be focused on and adhered to, according to priority. But that doesn't make it the only priority. Other things take precedent in a person's life than that one thing, though it does demand the most attention than most. I, for instance, love writing, but my focus at this point is motion graphics and animation. Do I get to do it every day? No. Why? Because of school, work, home chores, leisure time, etc. Does it make me any less of a motion graphic designer? No. Does it hinder the quality of what my work could be if I devoted my entire waking existence towards it? Of course, but that doesn't mean that I'm not worthy of the title or am incapable of a good job.

"You're just making excuses for yourself." No, I'm giving an explanation with a common scenario in my life right now. I have a solid defense, and I believe that people stuck in their own thinking are, in a sense, full of themselves and pompous. I watch tutorials online to learn new things. The ones I watch may have read a book. Just because our methods are different, it doesn't make us any worse than the other aside from existing skill, talent, and experience. Many people now believe "one way" is the "right way" to achieve good writing, and in the creative process... that's just plainly stupid. I have the fruit of achievement in my own life by my own methods, and I'm happy to hear if someone else has produced any in their own experiences by their own means.

Baby

With any creative work, the end result (or at least one of them) is considered your "baby". This is the most dangerous mindset a writer could have along with anyone else who has a personal attachment to their created works. When dealing with something that can be edited, such as a written piece, it is to the benefit of the writer to be critiqued and accept the viewpoint of others. That doesn't go to say that those viewpoints always need to be followed, but the work will continue to lack dimension (in most cases) when offense is taken to a critique.

Falling in love with an ugly first draft as if it were the full finished work cripples the potential. I've worked in video editing and motion graphics, and I've learned that what my eye doesn't catch everything, and that what's needed may not be what I produce the first few times. If I took that personally, I'd quickly be out of work and limit my growth substantially. The same goes for our writing. Growing hurts and criticism isn't fun all the time. Changing the mindset and adapting is what separates those full of themselves from those who make a living.

Not everyone is going to understand a certain perspective, and not everyone will like the same story. But allowing yourself to be open and see at least why is a powerful tool. We can't be swayed by every opinion, but we also can't be stuck in our ways. Finding that happy medium is what will promote growth to those who want it and prevent a lot of heartache along the way. I speak from experience.

Friends

A relationship in any given person's life can be the grounds of a great story, written or simply lived out. This can go either way in terms of what is beneficial or not, but regardless, these close and personal relationships are great mediums of tapping into deep sources of our emotion and the realities of who we really are. How do we act to our enemies? How do we act to our friends. How do we treat our friends who become our enemies? That concept alone could fuel a novel series' storyline.

Still, the point is, how potent are the relationships in our lives and how much are we truly gaining from them? How much are we giving? Are they worth writing about? Can they bring forth the emotion of others to move them beyond what's written? Everyone needs to be careful about who they surround themselves with, but this goes especially for those of us who are aiming to have an impact on a larger group of people through our writing. The real questions are: do we really expect to influence people? how many? are we even doing enough to influence our own friends or draw something meaningful out of them?

Writing is fueled by passion and our deepest relations with the people we share them with. Hopes, dreams, love, and hate. It's our responsibility, not only to make an impact in them, but to have people around that can bring forth that potential for impact; relationships with real meaning, depth, and value. Hopefully that came across as intended.

Still love your friends, live for them, and seek to grow WITH them, not in spite of them. But do it with people who bring out the best in you, and embrace the negative aspects into constructive work from those who are against you. That's where the true soul will come out. I'm saying this to myself, more than anything, but also to whoever may gain something from this.

Purpose

There's purpose to everything. If there isn't then it's not worth doing. Still, we're somewhere, doing something, for some purpose at all times. That alone can provoke thought, but my focus now it on purpose in the sense of motivation to action.

A big pain for me right now is school. I don't like school... at all. And that's a horrible attitude to have. Still, aside from my personal biases, I'm here for purposes beyond my understanding that slowly come to me bit by bit. Every step of the way, in any of my classes, I begin to understand what I'm able to get out of it, bit by bit.

A character in a story is placed into situations unknowingly. Is there a purpose for him/her to be there? Yes. Even if it's only to fill a paragraph's space, things happen for a reason to get to the end and goal of the story. The true meaning of the story is found within those events, but they aren't understood until you read that final line.

That's how it's been for me. I know the Author has a great plan and ending, and I'm just enjoying the ride (some times more than others, I'll admit). My character is being revealed and I see who I'm developing to be. My passion and fire for writing has been rekindled and now I'm beginning to understand how situations can fuel endless numbers of stories, poems, songs, etc. Not that I didn't get it before, but now I'm experiencing it, through my own life and situations along with their results. Life is the best example of writing. Just as a story has no value to a closed mind, however, so life has no purpose to those who don't seek to understand it.

description

You can describe feelings in various ways. How feelings make you feel, how your body, heart, mind, etc. reacts to a certain situation or sensation. But how powerful would it be, yet, to describe feeling, not by words, but by action? I know writing is about words, but as we've learned, it's best to show, not tell. People can only relate so far to how someone feels by means of describing other related feelings or reactions. Action speaks for itself, though. Or so people say. And normally, those people are right.

I know this is no new concept, but it's still powerful, nonetheless. "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or morepressing claim." This is a great action of something, a definition I received from dictionary.com. The word being defined is "sacrifice". But couldn't it also be used as "love"? What if the "feeling" of love (which is much more a choice than anything else) was described, not as love, but as an all out representation via sacrifice? The meaning and power behind the concept now has become much more clear and can reach the hearts of many more than just those who are "in love" or can relate to the warm fuzzy feeling of "love" (infatuation). The truer sense is given, and even those who are hurt can receive hope and enjoyment from it.

To think that I would be sacrificed for. That someone would consider my life to be of more worth than their own. My happiness over their safety. It becomes more real when given in an action and demonstration. The words give more understanding and meaning, but without the action taking place or being shown, the meaning is worthless. Still, it makes more sense and has touched me in a way I never even grasped before, all because of how something was worded, and how something was described through action and demonstration rather than just a description. It becomes more than wishful thinking or hopeful foolishness. If not to anyone else, than to myself.

I got this all from a book. A book I've read and skimmed over for years. A book I've become familiar with. A book I wish to relate my own style after because of it's amazing use of description through actions, continuity, and a story that continues well after the cover is closed. My Bible, as much as people scoff and think of it as ridiculous foolishness, has given me more powerful understanding and clarity of the word "love" (among others) through action than has any other novel, movie, or depiction possible. This hit me tonight and it wont soon die.

I want to bring understanding to people. Isn't that ever writer's goal? To be understood? Or at least hope that someone would understand? I want people, along with myself, to just get life and everything we go through. However that may be. It doesn't matter if it's with each other, against the world, or against ourselves. That only goes so far with fiction, but now at least I have a more powerful tool and method to get the message out and have some meaning behind it. I'm losing my words now, since it's late, and I'm not as coherent as I was when I began. Hopefully I can master this skill soon, since I'm sure this blog entry has gotten jumbled by now. Still, the message now should remain understandable, and my goal has been clearly stated.

Opening lines

The beginning sentences are supposed to draw readers in. I've always wanted to captivate my audience from the get-go, but really never put much thought into the process until now. Keep them guessing before they even turn the page. Spark interest in the first few words that will ignite a flame of curiosity and desire for conclusion through the rest of the story. A few words to burn through the rest of the pages. A few words to burn into the minds and hearts of those who even so much as glance over them. The follow-through is what makes the story, but those opening lines are what give them their chance. It's really cool to think about. And so, the act of writing becomes more of a refined art, though still as boundless and unpredictable as the emotions and thoughts it stems from.

Requirements of a Writer

Since when was the creative process and its patrons allowed to be dumbed down by generalizations and requirements? "If you're a real writer, you'll do this" "If you expect to be any good, you'll do that". Yea, because all writers that have made a difference in this world referred back to a certain other writing pioneer back when there was no one to refer back to, or made their mark in the world by writing this way, or that way, or reading this person's work. Of course not! There are tips that are helpful and methods that can bring out the best in your work, true, but it shouldn't be limited to that. I'm nowhere near the best at what I do, whether it be writing or anything else, but I got there because of my own experiences and methods, not following guidelines and specific rules and regulations. When that happens, our work loses its spark and value. Our passion becomes a textbook answer.

Who cares what people think? Who cares what one person dubs "good writing" or "correct methods"? No one should, and it's those who don't that make the real difference. I'd rather be called an idiot and end up like all the others who left their mark in the world by being called so than be praised as a genius in a classroom or by convention and replicate work that people have already ingested a million times or fail to cause people to think or understand because my style is outdated and overused, even though that's what I was taught.

I look forward to rejection letters. I'm excited for scoffs and ridicule. It's those responses I will save and keep next to the file cabinet of my acceptances and fan mail and later publish to show how cliche they all will become in the hindsight of history.

Too much rest

It doesn't seem to be existent at times, but there is such a thing as getting too much rest... becoming too comfortable in bed... especially before the week hits its end for me. I still hate waking up with a passion. Not that I don't enjoy being able to spend another day spending time with my friends and family, both at home and at church along with anywhere else we may go, it's just that it's a difficult task I never get tired of loathing. It's literally painful to try and force my body into cooperation in the mornings to kick off the covers and get ready for the day. It's mostly mental, though.

I remember a comedian, Mike Berbiglia I believe, who commented on a sleepy alter ego that had a gift for convincing arguments as why not to wake up. I'm beginning to come to terms with that same realization about myself, especially after this morning. Like I said before, if my mind has something more interesting to do, it's not too hard for it to convince my body to cooperate, and it just so happens that my dream needed to be finished, in my mind's opinion, and so I did before finally dragging myself out of my bed... literally!

Wiping my face off on my pillow and sheets as I slowly slid towards the edge of the bed and eventually getting up enough to see a blurred world through the slits of my eyelids who were still trying to decide whether or not to open or remain closed. I've gotten work done already, but it's not a pleasant ordeal to have to go through, especially when I finally wake up and remember everything I need to do in the day. "A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber." -Proverbs 6:10-11 and 24:32-34 (NLT) That verse kept echoing in my head this morning... talk about lighting a fire under your feet.

Distraction

It's apparent in this busy phase of my life that distraction is a very deadly thing. Even this post was delayed a good six hours due to distractions and my easily broken focus. It's the downfall of a creative mind. A new idea is constantly looked for and commonly found in the midst of a thought already in progress. If the new idea proves more interesting, which it does very often initially, then it takes over and several tasks are left either unfinished or not even started.

My mind is very good at deciding what it does and does not want to do, and have become skillful at convincing the rest of me that there are more entertaining things to be done than work, school, or even another recreational activity. Even now, Facebook is calling my name in the back of my head and my favorite hand held games cry out from neglect over the past two months.

I need to focus, but a lot of the time, even when I want to, I don't want to. I work best under pressure, though, and I've yielded nothing but good work from crunch time (mostly), so maybe that's just the way it'll be. I shouldn't say it's my best, but it definitely brings it out.

Busy

Sacrifices are necessary in life. Too much emphasis has been put on the "good life" or "bein on easy street". Nothing good seems to come just by gliding by, other than not having the burden of making a difference anywhere in this world. I've been finding myself with little to no free time, and the free time I have being used to further expand my abilities in computer animation or just some me and Jesus time. Even then it's only a half hour maybe twice a day. But from 8am-12am, it's consistent working. I've given up time with friends, opportunities of developing new friendships, but all to make something bigger than myself happen. I love the work I do, I get to work with people and develop there. If there wasn't any sacrifice, though, it wouldn't be work, and it wouldn't be growing me. It's frustrating and very tiresome at times, but I know it will pay off. I know where my values are, and I will never forsake my friends or family for the sake of plain progress. Not if it doesn't benefit anyone except myself, anyway.

I just got my hands on some 3d software and I'm really looking forward to expanding in that, and resources keep coming for me, and hopefully I can make something amazing happen for people with it eventually. I've seen what possible with it, and I wanna bring out the best in it!

That's just a glimpse of where I'm at now, and that's just plainly where I'm at. I'm learning to manage my time, lead teams, and grow in areas that I'd rather not do sometimes. It's all worth it, though, in the end. I have hope for the future and definitely no expectation of having work let up... maybe transfer somewhere else for the better, but not really go away. That's exciting, though. I have a future to look forward to. Not many people believe in that. But I know it. If only others did too.

How was I at 8 years old?

My life at 8 years old... there's not a whole lot to it. I lived in Nebraska. At that point it was my second year in Lincoln, and life was pretty easy. I was largely ignorant of most of the world around me, though my memories are filled with nothing but the open playground, the smell of the fresh air, the humid summer breeze that carried the scent of alfalfa...

I was able to find joy in a lot of little things, especially when it came to pretend on the playground. Those are probably my fondest memories. Those with my friends, acting out our favorite cartoons, video games, and even just making something up. My mind was arguably out of this world. To this day, my focus remains scattered. Nothing kept my attention long, and I often fell asleep in class, eyes wide open, caught in a day dream of some far off place.

I tried to be considerate, yet I found myself saying stupid things when I didn't think them through, or not being able to come up with anything at all. I would stand face to face with my teachers, right in front of their desks as they interrogated me. As they continued to drill me about this or that, I made my subtle replies in my head, though I didn't dare speak what was going through my head. Even well thought out, that was a recipe for disaster. So, there I would stand. Silent. Staring. Unmoving. Finally they would give way and let me go, though another lecture was soon to follow in the coming weeks. Social awkwardness was prevalent in all areas during this time in my life. Not just with teachers, but with everyone.

I didn't care for school... still don't... that's where really most of my memories derive from, though, whether it be the playground, the classroom, or what have you. During that time in my life, that was all that was going on, and the next day to see my friends is what I lived for... and going to see what else we would have to do in class was the exact opposite.

So summed up, I was calm, quiet, very much to my own thoughts and imagination, and very much a people person, even though I didn't like directly interacting since I didn't really know how. Warm summer nights and the wide open sky fill my senses whenever I look back, and the street lights and night life from the car window were always a delight to observe. I wasn't perfect, but I wouldn't change me for anything.

A writer's perspective

So... here I am, writing from a writer's perspective... I really don't know what that means, to be honest. At least not right now. I guess it's something I'll have to learn over the next few months. I've always enjoyed writing, drawing, or doing really anything that could allow me to make something out of nothing. The power to create is by no means underrated in this world, though in certain areas I suppose it is.

In any case, I've been looking at my life from a third person point of view ever since I was about four years old, always narrating different segments of my life, as if my own experiences were being read back to me from a page. My emotions, circumstances, and even possible conclusions to situations would all be played back in my mind.

This has had it's downfalls, making me very secluded and introverted, but that's something I'm getting over fast, and I also have been able to really take a look at my life and the lives of others from different points of view. I've been working on not fantasizing about conversations that haven't happened, arguments that have no base, and making up things that would bother me. Great for books, not so much for real life. I've had to control my narrative tendencies, but at the same time, it's given me a great amount of ability when it comes to expressing myself on a page; in writing. That's where I can take all my thoughts, deliberated and edited, and pour them out as articulately as I can, and much better than what I would be able to do verbally on the spot, as I'm sure it would be for most people. That, too, I'm trying to get past, though.

In any case, my life is about to get very busy, and I consider myself very blessed for that. If it's one thing I can't stand, it's being idle and having nothing to do. I love having fun, but let's face it, here in Yuma there's not a whole lot to do without a group of creative people or a family of your own to tend to. Still, I'm excited for this next chapter in my life, and I'm excited about sharing it. Hopefully I can catch onto this whole "writer's perspective" thing if I haven't already. All in good time!